If you are envisioning Tom Cruise sliding across the floor in his underwear, I'm with you, but that's not what this post is about - sorry:)
This week I purposely left my alone time - 8:30 to 3 pm each week day - open to be playful with the idea of paying attention to what would bring me joy and taking one step at a time. On Monday morning, I had an awesome coffee with my neighbour. She has been on a learning journey with some challenges with her own child, she shared a ton of extremely helpful insight and it felt great to connect. That afternoon I actually felt like organizing our desk (which was a disaster) so I did and brought our household finances almost up to date. I did it because I really felt like it not because I 'had to' and that was surprising for me. As I was cleaning my desk, I found a card for this lady who does AMAZING reiki treatments very close to my house, so I phoned her! She had an appointment for Wednesday. It was unbelievable, and absolutely perfect preparation for the parent-teacher conferences and school council meeting that followed. I have had great, deep visits with my mom, my sister-in-law, my sister, some great friends and amazingly even found lots of space for quiet, yoga and writing - and a bit of laundry and dishwashing (weird).
Today - I decided to make food for the teacher potluck at the kids' school but I needed groceries. So, I grabbed my iPod and walked Daisy in the sunshine to Sobey's. I was listening to Jim Cuddy (love him) and began singing along out loud - I'm sure I will become known as High River's newest crazy lady! Anyway, as I sang, I realized that I really love singing and miss doing it (as some of you know, I used to perform a bit when I was younger). Two talented friends names leaped into my head and I thought, I should send them a Facebook note and ask them to jam - so I did! And Trish has already responded yes!!!
Yikes, this joy thing is becoming risky business:)!
Thursday, 28 February 2013
Tuesday, 26 February 2013
Just Take One Step
I've been doing a fair amount of reading about the brain & anxiety in the past few weeks. I just read that 12% of Canada's population deals with an anxiety disorder at any given time - 12% of 33 million people is just under 4 million people!
I wonder something...our culture is very focused on goal setting and planning. Obsessed almost. This focus fundamentally assumes that we somehow have control over the future. Could it be possible that this assumption of control unconsciously contributes to heightened stress, worry & fear? I do understand that anxiety is a more complex symptom of a number of root causes, but I can't imagine that this control illusion that we are all taught from a young age is not a part of the story.
I do not suffer with an anxiety 'disorder' but I had a funny experience recently where my own 'control' programming certainly increased my anxiety. I was contemplating taking my one month leave from work and then got immediately absorbed in 'figuring out' what would happen after the leave. I got seriously stressed out about what the next steps would look like 'Will I go back to work full time? What if they don't want me back, what else should I do? What if I can't find other work? Should I go back to school? We'll have to sell the boat...so many what if's - seriously good training for building a plan, cuz I should have a plan, right - we're supposed to have a plan. Then my counsellor friend said to me 'Jodi, just take one step. You can't possibly know the next step until you take the first one.'
Just Take One Step? Not have a plan? Flies in the face of all the planning approaches I have ever been taught - especially by leadership pundits.
Just Take One Step. Huh?
I immediately had this visual of me stepping on a big button making a curtain slide away and a new version of the world appeared - a world I wouldn't have seen until I took that one step.
So that's what the last 3 weeks have looked like for me - one step after another with no real end goal other than 'Joy'. The absolute opposite of control. Feels weird, super foreign and entirely liberating. I am feeling the opposite of anxious. What could happen for people if we stopped perpetuating the idea that you must have a plan? I wonder what possibilities could show up for people taking one step at a time?
If you are stressing yourself out by looking way into the future, fearing all the what if's, take it from me, let go of the idea that you are in control, that you need a 'plan' and just take one step - the next step will reveal itself and it might be entirely different than you could have imagined.
Thursday, 14 February 2013
Why do we wait for crisis...
...to really learn about ourselves?
I am completely engrossed by a book that my sister-in-law leant me called 'The Whole-Brain Child". Such excellent, simple to understand information about the development of the brain and how to nurture it. Shouldn't that be kind of parenting 101 stuff? I mean, this raising little human beings is pretty important work isn't it? I so could have used this knowledge in my earlier days of parenting instead of just bumbling along until I hit the pain of 'I don't know what I'm doing & I need help'. The beauty is, this book is teaching me what is happening in my own brain as I interact with my children and how to manage that. It even provides instruction for how to share the information with your children - which I absolutely plan to do (my kids will either love or hate their family week vacation:) Powerful stuff that I'm not sure I would have noticed before this point.
Why is this?
Maybe it's just because context/experience helps us more easily see the gaps - maybe you have to 'feel' the pain before being able to absorb the 'solution'.
I don't know, but my quest now will be to invite a more proactive approach for all of us - most importantly, for my children. If you haven't read this book, pick it up - I highly recommend it - please don't wait for crisis.
I am completely engrossed by a book that my sister-in-law leant me called 'The Whole-Brain Child". Such excellent, simple to understand information about the development of the brain and how to nurture it. Shouldn't that be kind of parenting 101 stuff? I mean, this raising little human beings is pretty important work isn't it? I so could have used this knowledge in my earlier days of parenting instead of just bumbling along until I hit the pain of 'I don't know what I'm doing & I need help'. The beauty is, this book is teaching me what is happening in my own brain as I interact with my children and how to manage that. It even provides instruction for how to share the information with your children - which I absolutely plan to do (my kids will either love or hate their family week vacation:) Powerful stuff that I'm not sure I would have noticed before this point.
Why is this?
Maybe it's just because context/experience helps us more easily see the gaps - maybe you have to 'feel' the pain before being able to absorb the 'solution'.
I don't know, but my quest now will be to invite a more proactive approach for all of us - most importantly, for my children. If you haven't read this book, pick it up - I highly recommend it - please don't wait for crisis.
Thursday, 7 February 2013
Road to Joy
Bear with me for a moment while I bask in the glory of the cleverness of that title...
Ok, good, thanks!
Earlier this week we brought a gentleman named Ryan into our office at Impact Society for a team development session. He is deeply trained in the Clifton Strengthfinder work and he was talking to us about leveraging our top 5 strengths as individuals and as a team. As prep work we all had to buy the book and complete the online assessment. It is very interesting work and a very valuable start to a fairly involved bunch of insight. As part of my learning journey through my leave, I plan to make Jeff complete the assessment (he doesn't know this yet:) & there is a kid version that I know my boys could do (they don't know either:) - I think it will be interesting to do as a family to help with understanding each other. (Stay tuned about that bit...)
Anyway, at the end of the session, Ryan invited us to try an interesting exercise. He told us to put 2 headings at the top of a piece of paper 'Loved It' & 'Loathed It' and pay attention to the things that we do in a week and write them down under whatever heading they belong under. This approach he suggested would give us some insight as to when we are really leveraging our strengths and when we are not. I think this is an interesting approach to try out on my road to joy as I fundamentally believe that fully living in each of our unique strengths is the key to true, long lasting joy.
Incidentally, for anyone who has done the assessment, my top 5 are; strategic, ideation, activator, positivity and belief. See you on the road to joy!
Ok, good, thanks!
Earlier this week we brought a gentleman named Ryan into our office at Impact Society for a team development session. He is deeply trained in the Clifton Strengthfinder work and he was talking to us about leveraging our top 5 strengths as individuals and as a team. As prep work we all had to buy the book and complete the online assessment. It is very interesting work and a very valuable start to a fairly involved bunch of insight. As part of my learning journey through my leave, I plan to make Jeff complete the assessment (he doesn't know this yet:) & there is a kid version that I know my boys could do (they don't know either:) - I think it will be interesting to do as a family to help with understanding each other. (Stay tuned about that bit...)
Anyway, at the end of the session, Ryan invited us to try an interesting exercise. He told us to put 2 headings at the top of a piece of paper 'Loved It' & 'Loathed It' and pay attention to the things that we do in a week and write them down under whatever heading they belong under. This approach he suggested would give us some insight as to when we are really leveraging our strengths and when we are not. I think this is an interesting approach to try out on my road to joy as I fundamentally believe that fully living in each of our unique strengths is the key to true, long lasting joy.
Incidentally, for anyone who has done the assessment, my top 5 are; strategic, ideation, activator, positivity and belief. See you on the road to joy!
Tuesday, 5 February 2013
Choice Point
It has been 11.5 years since I became a mother. 11.5 years of striving to integrate family and a career that matters to me into a working model of happiness. 'Family First' is my guiding value and I have definitely had a few choice points along the way to test the strength of my commitment and resolve. I imagine every working mother in the world can say exactly the same thing. So, here I am again.
My 9 year old is struggling. Overwhelmed with life and stressed out about everything. He doesn't sleep, so none of us sleep. Not a pretty story with a 5am wake-up call and one hour commute for both myself and my husband. I've been feeling things sort of hanging together for a little while now but in January the unraveling became impossible to ignore. By January 30th I was exhausted and frustrated every waking second of the day - never has the image of treading water and being pulled under felt so visceral for me. I felt like a car stuck in the mud, pedal to the metal doing nothing more than endlessly spinning wheels. Helpless and hopeless is not a place I sit in for long because, I know that there is always a way forward, it simply comes down to choice.
On the morning of January 30th, as I was driving to work, I dreamily imagined myself taking a 'time-out' - to get my own spirit back to health to be useful and helpful to my son & family. Time to really focus on the learning journey sitting in front of us, learning how to be the kind of family that successfully copes with anxiety. I spoke this idea out loud to my cousin, making it feel like an actual possibility and by the end if the day I had asked my CEO for a one month, unpaid leave of absence which he without hesitation supported. Big decision, Yes. Difficult choice, No.
February 9th is the beginning of my leave. I have no idea all that lies ahead of me with this choice I've made. I do know, without a shadow of a doubt, this is the only choice for me. I will share this journey.
My 9 year old is struggling. Overwhelmed with life and stressed out about everything. He doesn't sleep, so none of us sleep. Not a pretty story with a 5am wake-up call and one hour commute for both myself and my husband. I've been feeling things sort of hanging together for a little while now but in January the unraveling became impossible to ignore. By January 30th I was exhausted and frustrated every waking second of the day - never has the image of treading water and being pulled under felt so visceral for me. I felt like a car stuck in the mud, pedal to the metal doing nothing more than endlessly spinning wheels. Helpless and hopeless is not a place I sit in for long because, I know that there is always a way forward, it simply comes down to choice.
On the morning of January 30th, as I was driving to work, I dreamily imagined myself taking a 'time-out' - to get my own spirit back to health to be useful and helpful to my son & family. Time to really focus on the learning journey sitting in front of us, learning how to be the kind of family that successfully copes with anxiety. I spoke this idea out loud to my cousin, making it feel like an actual possibility and by the end if the day I had asked my CEO for a one month, unpaid leave of absence which he without hesitation supported. Big decision, Yes. Difficult choice, No.
February 9th is the beginning of my leave. I have no idea all that lies ahead of me with this choice I've made. I do know, without a shadow of a doubt, this is the only choice for me. I will share this journey.
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