This summer I left my work so that I can focus on caring for my family and rebuilding our home. While the kids were here with me full-time, and we were living in other people's homes, and the list of to do's ever-growing and overwhelming I found myself longing for space. Space to be still and think and focus and just, well, get it together. September 3rd, I got that space - just like that, the kids are back in school and I have complete freedom 6 and half hours every single day of the week!
So, Tuesday morning at 8:30 am I took a deep breath and thought excitedly, what will I do with my fresh start?
Here's the funny thing I've learned about me having space. It's like a hole in the sand at the edge of the tide, it is constantly and immediately being filled back in. There are so many possibilities in front of me to fill my space and I seem to frantically look to fill every groove. Within 48 hours I had considered running for council, applied for a job and cracked off quite a few to do's. Yesterday, I realized, here I go again - when I have space I think I have to fill it, immediately and completely.
This is a very, very important awareness for me. I have a lot to take care of in my home, for my family and for myself - I cannot underestimate the importance of this. I need to focus and breathe and take smart, helpful action - one - step - at - a - time. I must be mindful of this and be attentive to it. So, today, I am breathing and chilling and trying very, very hard to enjoy my space without constantly figuring out how to fill it. It feels foreign, odd, uncomfortable but so very relieving.
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