Over the past few months I've noticed something that fascinates me. Often, when a person is standing up for themselves or something they believe in, they will reference that they are "fighting" for something. Phrases like, "anything worth doing demands sacrifice" and "sometimes you have to be satisfied with winning the small battles in the war" and even "go get' em" are common in our language.
Why do we have to take the position that there is an opponent and start our actions from that belief? If you believe that you are a victim and are defending yourself against some unseen force, what feelings does that bring up in you? Helplessness, frustration, anger, defensiveness, hopelessness, exhaustion...is any of that really helpful or enjoyable? Sure doesn't sound very fun.
I was very aware of this trend through our recent municipal election and accompanying campaigning. I made my choices based on who didn't appear to be fighting. I was much more attracted to those candidates who referred to community building and used hopeful, future-focused, momentum-building language along with specific, committed actions. I think our leaders need to be very careful with and aware of the language they use and the feelings they evoke in the people they are representing. I don't want anyone to "fight" for me - I want them to work for me and get lasting results. One thing I know from years of leadership is that you might "win a battle" but, if you belittle someone you need you will most certainly not "win the war."
Why do we have to take the position that there is an opponent and start our actions from that belief? If you believe that you are a victim and are defending yourself against some unseen force, what feelings does that bring up in you? Helplessness, frustration, anger, defensiveness, hopelessness, exhaustion...is any of that really helpful or enjoyable? Sure doesn't sound very fun.
I was very aware of this trend through our recent municipal election and accompanying campaigning. I made my choices based on who didn't appear to be fighting. I was much more attracted to those candidates who referred to community building and used hopeful, future-focused, momentum-building language along with specific, committed actions. I think our leaders need to be very careful with and aware of the language they use and the feelings they evoke in the people they are representing. I don't want anyone to "fight" for me - I want them to work for me and get lasting results. One thing I know from years of leadership is that you might "win a battle" but, if you belittle someone you need you will most certainly not "win the war."
I read a quote yesterday from the Dalai Llama that speaks to this;
"Once we have a firm practice of compassion our state of mind becomes stronger which leads to inner peace, giving rise to self-confidence, which reduces fear. This makes for constructive members of the community. Self-centredness on the other hand leads to distance, suspicion, mistrust and loneliness, with unhappiness as the result."
I don't want to appear glib or trite, but I think we in High River need to hold this quote in our hearts as we continue to march forward in our rebuild. I know there are genuine situations where it does feel like we as individuals are being attacked, repeatedly - but as long as we react from this position, we will get nowhere. I'm not talking about compromising our needs or beliefs or giving up, I'm simply suggesting we think through how to position them positively with passion and relentless persistence.
I don't know about you, but I don't want to "fight" anymore.
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