A Plea

I went to a funeral last Friday to say goodbye to a lovely 18 year old boy who passed away on March 12th - the victim of an accidental overdose. His stepmother has been a good friend of mine since University days. I remember when I was living in Toronto, she visited me and she had just begun dating her future husband. I remember hearing about his 2 wonderful little boys and talking a lot about the complexities of becoming involved with a person with an ex-wife and children. I remember the early days of her being a stepmom, finding her role and her voice within that role - a journey that I imagine often being more difficult than that of a mother. And now, one of her boys is gone.

The loss of this boy in the prime of his life has taken the legs out from under me. I keep telling myself this isn't about me, but I cannot deny how deeply this loss has impacted me and perhaps by sharing I can make it make a bit more sense for myself and perhaps have an impact on others.

First is the deep, deep sadness. I am so sad for my dear friend and all of this boys family. Beyond this, I am sad that there are many other teenagers out there who are right now playing Russian roulette with their lives - their lives and the lives of those who love them. I know that they feel invincible and don't believe that death can happen to them but it can, and it does. The drugs out there today can be a one time death - do we all get that - one time! It is not worth it. How do we help people understand?

Deep questions plague me around why kids are messing with these drugs. Is their pain so deep that they are desperate to do anything to avoid it? Or, are they just bored with life and looking for a thrill? I know it's a both/and story with hundreds of variations in between - so how do we make it stop? Is loving them enough?

Second, I am terrified. My oldest son is just stepping into his teenage years. Will he be able to manage? What might push him over the edge? How do I make sure he makes it through? What about his friends and their families? I know some kids his age are dabbling in stuff now - 13 & 14 years old - what do we do about that? Sometimes I feel like my husband and I are totally alone in our concern and our fear - so many other people don't see this experimentation as a big deal. It is a big deal, a huge deal - this is life changing stuff.

I have a plea for all the beautiful teens in my life. Please, know that you are loved. Know that you being here, alive - it's important. You may not know yet what gifts you hold or how they will be put to use but know for sure that they are valuable. You may not see that you matter to people around you, but trust me, you do. When you are struggling or suffering, reach out. Let somebody close to you into your world. No one can suffer alone and nothing is more important than being there for another human being. I cannot bear the thought of one more life lost or one more family grieving the hole that is left in their lives. Please when temptation is in front of you, remember these words.