Choice & Ease

Historically, December has been a stress-ridden struggle for me.  A distracted month full of shoulds and have to's laden with the guilt that this is supposed to be a joyful, fun-filled time and I'm not feeling any of that.

But not this year!

This year has been the opposite - it's actually been easy and joyful.  JOYFUL!!  Exactly what the season is supposed to be.

Why?  Why is it different this year?  The overcommercialization hasn't changed.  The list of people to buy for and things to do hasn't changed.  It is me and my choices - specifically my choices around work - that has changed dramatically over the past 2 years.

The shift started in January of 2013.  I was just looking over some of my writing over the past couple of years and this blog entry from February Just Take One Step captures why December has become Joyful for me again.

2014 has been a full year of simply taking the one next step that feels right for me at that time.  I am no longer getting tangled up in all of the impossible what if's of each choice and trying to see the whole path - just stopping, listening deeply and choosing.  I have said yes to some things, I have said yes, but this is how I am willing to do it for other things and I have said no.

Each of these choices has made for a spectacular year.  I am loving the work that I am doing, the amount of work I'm doing and the way this work is allowing me to have the flexibility and time to support and enjoy my family.

The most beautiful part of it all is that I had no way of knowing at this time last year what my work would be at this point a year later.  I had no specific goal - I had a sense I wanted to serve my community, the clarity that it could not consume me and the desire to use all the best parts of myself and have fun - but no concept around what it would actually be.  And what has emerged is absolutely perfect.  I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't lived it.

I am writing this now, to remind myself to keep living this way as I move into another new year.  I am also writing this now to invite each of you to trust this way of living.  It is so freeing to move away from intense overengineering, planning and control.  It is also powerfully surprising as to what will appear for you when you allow it.

Merry Christmas & happy December - here's to many more:).