Just when I begin to feel hopeful that the world of work and leadership is moving in the right direction - towards more authenticity, vulnerability, acceptance, compassion, humanness - someone writes and publishes an article that punctures my bubble as sharply and swiftly as a machete would destroy a balloon.
Here is the article - I don't really want you to read it, but if you don't, you won't know what all the fuss is about:) What 15 Female Leaders Really Think About Crying At Work
This article absolutely infuriates me. I thought maybe giving myself 24 hours of processing time would dull my anger and frustration - but nope, it's still there, fresh as ever. There is also a bitter irony that it would come out on the day that Maya Angelou passed away.
Why does this matter - why is it even a topic to be written about? Why are we so afraid of people's emotions? We are all human beings - all emotion is as natural as breathing. When will it be ok for leaders - all leaders, not just women - to simply be human - real people, warts and all? Aren't we finally moving away from the industrial revolution where people are expected to be robots? And Why, did they only ask women?!
I want a world of work where people do not have to wear masks. Pretending to be something that you are not, stuffing your emotions down, this is all the stuff that makes people sick - leads to stress, addictions, burn-out - not the makings of a productive workplace. This is not what we should be encouraging, for anybody, let alone the people who are leading people!
Emotion invites people to get to know one another at a deeper level. Instead of freaking out when someone cries and labelling it as 'unprofessional' - what if we saw it as opportunity to dig in and really find out what is going on? I'm not saying it's a leaders job to 'fix' whatever is ailing a crying employee, but the very act of listening/hearing/connecting is the stuff that creates permanent bonds and will inspire an employee to give their heart and soul to a leader who cares.
This article assumes that the work world is still all about power and control. And many of the women responding in this article are still playing that game. That is the part that makes me the most sad. The workplace will never move beyond this if we keep playing the game and worse yet, telling all those who are following in our footsteps to keep playing.
Real emotion inspires people.
The real story here would be why are we so afraid of emotion at work? How can we be taught to welcome all emotion into our workplaces? Maybe I should go to work with Brene Brown and we'll do a study proving to the world that the workplaces who embrace humanness are the most successful!
Ok, I feel better, thanks for listening. On the bright side, this article pointed me in the direction of this new article - Go Ahead - Cry at Work - so I guess it's not all bad:)
Emotion = energy in motion. If there's not emotion everything is stuck! Sadly I heard a story today about a modern corporation that runs as if it's some kind of work-camp. People working till all hours of the morning to get the job done. People going on stress leave and leaders really FAILING people in terms of meeting their real needs. Combined with the perception that if you don't "play the game" you'll have to leave. Very sad - the story hasn't changed since I first read Lance Secretan's book Reclaiming Higher Ground which really called companies out on all this. I hope my work over those years has done a little bit to push things in the right direction. Great writing Jod!
ReplyDeleteMe again - I started to read the article Jodi and gave up - much preferred reading your comment on it. AND I wanted to add that I've seen MEN cry at or about their work - and it's totally transformational when it happens. Such a privilege to be with someone when they open up to that transcendent moment and become more of who they really are. Beautiful. Let's keep going in the right direction with this :-)
ReplyDeleteHi Jodi. I love your post! I totally agree with you. I think that crying is not something you can "bring on" or "hold back". It's usually an unexpected authentic response to something that has been said or done. I, too, would much rather work and live with people who are "unmasked". I trust those who are "human" and live life in a big hearted way. If you are a part of the Community Builders Leadership program you will notice that hardly a coaching session goes by without Ian Hill expressing his very real emotions around death, tragedy, or something that was done to hurt someone. (And.... he's a man!) Take that stoic female leaders! Here's a Leadership guru publicly allowing his authentic self to show. I respect and trust that delivery more than a controlled, masked speech. Here's to being real! Again, great article Jodi.
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